Glimpsing God out of the Corner of Your Eye

Throughout the gospels, we get lessons of great truth from the disciples. This is because in so many ways they mirror our own selves and reactions to the works and teachings of Jesus.

There's blundering Peter and the ambitious Zebedee brothers, James and John.

And there's Thomas - doubting, questioning, skeptical Thomas who had a hard time believing that Jesus was alive again and that he is living among us.

Thomas could be the patron saint of us all, couldn't he? He could be the patron saint of Princeton University.

Throughout the gospel of John, Thomas plays the role of the skeptic, the doubter, the questioner, the free thinker.

In chapter 11 when Jesus is called to Bethany at the death of Lazarus, the gospel says, "Thomas, who was called the twin, said to his fellow disciples, 'Let us also go, that we may die with him.'" These are brave words, to be sure. But they show that Thomas did not grasp the notion of resurrection or the healing powers of Jesus.

And in chapter 14, when Jesus tells his disciples that his father's mansion has many rooms and that he is going to prepare a place for them where they are to follow, Thomas says, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?" Thomas doesn't get it; he doesn't understand. So, Jesus has to tell him again that He is the way.

I think the gospel writer puts these words into Thomas' mouth because he wants to give us all the freedom and the permission to doubt, to question, not to understand. In other words, Thomas' doubting and lack of understanding about the works of God give us all the freedom to be who we really are, namely, imperfect human beings.

We all have a hard time believing a lot of what the church believes. That's right - there is a distinction between what the church believes collectively and what we individuals - who make up the church - really believe in our hearts and minds and any particular point in time.

The church's basic beliefs about the nature of God, for example, were codified at the Council of Nicea in the year 325 in what we know as the Nicene Creed which we will say in a few minutes.

The Council of Nicea was called at the insistence of the emperor who was disturbed by all the squabbling and disagreement about the nature of God and Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. The Nicene Creed was the product of a great deal of negotiating and politicking in the church and you can be quite sure that not everyone was completely satisfied with the outcome. Not everyone believed everything that the majority put into the Nicene Creed.

The fact that the majority won the vote surely did not change the firmly held beliefs of the minority. That being the case, the question arises: were the members of the minority any less Christian than those in the majority? I don't think so.

What about us? Are we entirely comfortable with every word and phrase in the Nicene Creed?

I'll tell you a secret. There are many ordained persons in the church - including bishops and theologians - who do not accept every tenet in the Creed.

Here's another secret. I find myself going back and forth in my mind about certain things in the Creed. Sometimes I believe them all without a second thought. But sometimes I have to remain silent when I come to certain parts of the Creed because in that moment I could not say them out loud with integrity.

By confessing to doubts, I am not advocating the abandonment of orthodox beliefs set forth in the creeds of the church nor am I advocating a cafeteria approach to Christianity where we pick and choose what we will believe. I am merely stating a simple fact about the human condition that is implicitly acknowledged in the gospel of John through the skepticism of Thomas.

So, the story of Thomas is really a story about each of us. Do we really believe that Christ has risen and lives among us? Jesus appeared to his disciples so, for them, seeing is believing. For Thomas, who was not present the first time Jesus appeared, seeing is believing too. It is only after he sees that he believes. We might say that Thomas was the first empirical scientist.

Thomas represents a transition from the disciples who saw and believed to us who hear and believe. For us, this is a new kind of faith - we go from "seeing is believing" to "hearing is believing" to "believing is seeing."

Hearing is believing and believing is seeing. That's the theory. But in reality, it's a lot harder than it sounds. I suspect many of us are like Thomas in this regard. We want more evidence than we have in the Bible or in the teachings of the church. For some of us "It's true because the Bible tells me so" or "It's true because the church teaches it" is not so easy to swallow.

Does that mean that we are outside the church? Does that mean that we are less Christian than a roommate or a team mate who seems to believe and accept everything the creeds say. Does it mean that a doubter is less of a Christian than a person who seems quite sure of everything?

In the gospel lesson for tonight we have Thomas refusing to believe what others tell him until he can find a way to believe on his own terms. The really interesting thing here is the reaction he gets from Jesus. Does Jesus chide him for his unbelief? Or, worse, does Jesus reject Thomas and expel him from the fellowship of the disciples because he has not believed what the others believe?

You can almost see Jesus smiling at Thomas in a way a dear friend, or a loving parent would smile to let you know that it's okay. It's okay to be the way you are, to be human, to wonder about things that seem not to add up, to have doubts.

Jesus accepts Thomas as he is and simply holds out his hands to be seen and touched by doubting, skeptical Thomas. And only then does Thomas believe.

It's not so straightforward for us. We have to look a lot harder to see what others seem to see. We have to look for truth in manifestations that are not as dramatic as they were for Thomas, but are far more subtle.

And seeing subtle truths takes time and sometimes people can live a whole lifetime in the church and still not see them all.

But Jesus knows we're human, imperfect people who can take in just so much, a little at a time. And God is patient with us and smiles upon us the way Jesus must have smiled at Thomas.

For some of us, believing is seeing. But for others, who are more like Thomas, seeing is still believing.

Thomas might well have decided to leave the other apostles and go his own way when he heard all the crazy talk about seeing Jesus alive again.

But he didn't. He came back and persevered until he, too, could believe what the others believed. And maybe even then he had lingering doubts, but I'm sure if he did he knew that was alright with Jesus - that Jesus would still accept him as he was.

So, we doubt, we struggle, we question, we wonder what's true and what's made up, what's central to our relationship with God and what is not.

But it is in the struggling, and the questioning, and the wondering that, like Thomas, we may eventually see God and come to know what really is true.

Let us pray.

God, give us the grace and help to persevere and keep at it as Thomas did, even though he doubted and questioned. And God, please be patient with us as you were with him. You made us as we are with the gift of intelligence and reason and so we analyze and try to figure things out and we are skeptical about many things. We want to know you but you're too much for us to take in all at once. So, give us grace, and help us to see, and be patient with us.

Amen.